Men Who Pledge to Be Virgins before Marriage are Confused About Sex: Study

Pledging to remain a virgin before marriage can confuse men about sex, according to a study.

The stereotypical male in the sexually liberated society talks about his sexual liaisons and escapades as a mark of pride and masculinity. But one genre of men abstain from indulging in sexual relations and wait till they tie the knot. Sarah Diefendorf, a sociologist from the University of Washington studied almost 15 young Christian bachelors from support groups and discussion forums who had resolved to be virgins before marriage. She followed this group of young men from 2008 and recorded their personal experiences on how they managed to control their sexual urges and remained  truthful to their prospective wives, reports New Statesman.

The participants were in their late teens and early 20's who confessed to having doubts and difficulties related to sex even after getting married. The subjects reportedly overcame their sexual desire by masturbating and discussing with support groups to prevent them from breaking their long-term commitment to sexual abstinence until marriage. These men considered the act of love making as a sacred ritual meant to happen only within the martial boundary.

The research also found that most men became confused and had lot of doubts about sex after getting married. The respondents did not have a particular space or forum to express their ambiguity about sex as they had before marriage. The church instructs such men to keep their sex life behind the 'closed doors' and views discussion on martial sex as taboo or disrespect to wives.

"After marriage, the church culture assumes that couples become each other's support, regardless of the issue at hand. There's little support in figuring out sexuality in married life, and these men don't know how to talk to their wives about it," said  Diefendorf, in a news release.

However, habits like watching pornography and temptation to have sex outside marriage did not cease even after marriage for many subjects.

"Before you get married the biggest thing you struggle with, usually, is premarital sex. But once you are married, you can't be tempted by that anymore, so you get attacked by completely different things. While the whole point of these support groups is to honor sex in marriage, these men have gotten so used to thinking about sex as something negative that they bring those concerns with them to the marriage bed," adds  Diefendorf.

The research was presented at the annual meet of the America Sociological Association in San Francisco.