Over-praising Children Can Make Them Narcissistic

Don't let your child believe that he is a "special snowflake", or you may transform him into a narcissistic jerk, according to a new Dutch study.

Individuals who are narcissistic feel that they are better than everyone else, and live for personal success, hoping that they can get exceptional treatment, according to the authors of the study that was featured in the latest issue of the journal 'Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences'. Narcissists are unpleasant, sometimes even violent, according to abcnews.

The probe looked into the lives of 565 Dutch children from 7 through 12 years for narcissistic inclinations, such as feelings of superiority and self-satisfaction. Scientists questioned the children's parents about how, when and how often they offered praise.

Hence, children whose parents constantly told them that they were superior to other children turned out to be narcissistic, as compared to others. Children who are over-praised believe that they are special people who deserve exceptional treatment all the time, said Brad Bushman, a professor of communication and psychology at Ohio State University, one of the authors or the study.

"Parents should be warm and loving, but not give their child blanket praise," Bushman said. "We should not boost self-esteem and hope our children will behave well. Instead, we should praise our children after they do well."

Jean Twenge, author of The Narcissism Epidemic and psychology professor at San Diego State University says that "Narcissism is a somewhat toxic personality trait." Narcissists often "overestimate" their abilities, take too many risks and mess up their relationships, she adds.

However, Dr. Gene Beresin, the executive director of Massachusetts General Hospital's Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds, was not too sure how accurate the study was. "In the first place, parents are just one influence on a child," he said. "Teachers, peers, siblings and many others influence how a child feels about themselves and how they behave towards others."

Moreover, the age of the children who have been studied should be taken into account, he said. "I don't see how you can label kids this young as narcissistic when it's generally recognized that such personality traits aren't fully formed until late adolescence, like around age 18," he said.

He added that parents who build up a bond of trust with their children through honest feedback, as well as encouragement and support, can help to build a child's self-esteem and security. While feedback to children should be positive, accurate as well as appropriate, appreciation will build up a child's self-worth, he said.

However, the research scientists agreed that parental "overvaluation" leads to narcissism much later in life, as most parents see them as important. While genetics is important, children who become over-confident become narcissistic.